Have you ever made a pact with the Devil? Did he come to you in the night? How long ago? What colour was his skin? Why won’t you say yes?

 

Did he make you sign his book? Was it very warm that night? When you wade in the river, do you take your shoes off? Have you ever killed a bullfrog? When was the last time you stepped on a spider? Did you bleed very profusely?

 

Out of all the kinds of rye we grow in the valley, which is your favourite variety? Do your mother and father have a farm? When was the last day of the harvest? Did you work under the harvest moon? Was there any dampness in the air?

 

Have you seen the mosaics from classical antiquity? Do you like the satyrs or the fauns better? Would you be able to tell them apart? What if it were very dark? What if you happened to be in the forest at the time? Would you check their legs or their horns? What would you do if one came up behind you? Do you think you could run away? Would you even try? Have you heard the story of Diana turning Actaeon into a stag so that his own dogs would hunt him down and tear him to pieces? Do you know why she did it? If you were a doe, could you outrun the dogs? 

 

Did you know that I have been to Rome? 

 

If you saw a wild cat, would you adopt it? Are those scratches on your legs to prove it? How long does it take to mend a torn petticoat? Legally speaking, is it an extravagance to have a ruffle of lace around the bottom, if you only wear it on Easter Sunday? Have you read our charter? Doesn't anyone read anymore?

 

Have you ever had any confrontations with the Indians? Did they seem kind to you? Don’t you think it was just a trick? Did they bring you the Devil’s book to sign? What do you mean, they don't have books? 

 

What was the point in coming all the way across the ocean when we could just have hunted witches back home? Are there witch hunts in Holland, or is it passé now that Bavaria is doing it? Aren’t all those European witch-tests dreadfully gauche? But what would you expect from a bunch of Catholics? Do you think you’d sink if they threw you into the river? Did you hear about that girl vomiting up pins? How do you think she did it? Did she hide the pins inside the seams of her sleeves and pull them out with her teeth when she covered her mouth with her hands, just so she could spill them all out onto the stones in front of the judge? Do you think any judges stepped on them afterwards? Would they have been difficult to pick out from the cracks in the stones? What’s the going cost for a pair of clogs in Amsterdam these days?

 

You didn't think we could just let you get away with it, did you? 

 

You understand it’s nothing personal? How else can we purge the Devil from our community? Do you have a better idea? 

 

Would you like to hang or to burn?

 

If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?

 

You understand, don’t you?

 

If you were Pilate, would you have washed your hands? Do you use a brush to get blood out from under your nail beds? If you leave it long enough, does it stain? Am I a bad man? When you butcher a pig, do you pour boiling water over it until the squealing stops, or do you hang it upside-down to let the blood drain out? Which does less damage to the meat? Which way would you prefer for us to deal with you?

 

What would you like to be when you grow up?

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